August 3, 2006
The Rev. Kathleen Kelly
Sermon at A Requiem Eucharist
in memory of Michael Patrick Crosse
August 3, 2006, 9:00 AM
Gospel: Matthew 14:13-21 (The Feeding of the Multitude)
Jesus said, "there is no guile in him." Jesus was talking about Nathaniel when he said this, but he was thinking about Michael Crosse! I have been quizzing many of you for the past two weeks, asking what it was that made Michael party to so much love. It passed to him and it passed from him. Time and again, this has been your reply: there wasn't a phony bone in his body. He didn't filter his impatience, and he didn't filter his generosity. In the final months of his life, Michael's great joy each day was to shop for something special he could fix for dinner and share with anyone in his apartment building who was hungry. He didn't filter his anger, and he didn't filter his love. Michael completed an advance directive for health care. Thankfully, the form invited him to write a final message. At the end of his message, Michael wrote, "I know I am loved by the people of Trinity Cathedral, and I want them to know I love them too."
Michael was absolutely genuine. Dana Chamness shared a very profound insight with me about the effect of that genuineness. Because Michael revealed all of our shared humanity so well, we all saw a bit of ourselves in him. We saw and grasped our shared experience. That helps people to see and grasp each other in love.
How did Michael get this part of life so right? I have been asking myself that question these last two weeks. If he left a trail of crumbs, that would be a big help to us all. As Bob's Reflection revealed, Michael was not dealt a very good hand of cards at birth. His body gave him many challenges. His family context gave him challenges as well. I heard him brag many times about feeding himself and his siblings by making lettuce sandwiches. Perhaps these challenges hold the key. Just maybe, the fact that his body disappointed him and his context disappointed him drove him toward the one source of life that does not disappoint.
Michael chose the Gospel lesson you just heard for this service. He chose it because he wanted to remind us this day that God is always feeding every single person with all we need to be full. Michael wanted us to know ever more deeply that when we suffer a loss-a loved one, a job, or a dimension of life- in that moment, God enfolds us in love; God fulfills our needs in ways better than we can understand; God feeds us in ways better than we know to desire or pray for. Michael wanted us to know more deeply that when we are disappointed by people, or politicians, or priests, or ourselves, in that moment, God enfolds us in love; God fulfills our needs in ways better than we can understand; God feeds us in ways better than we know to desire or pray for. Michael wanted us to know more deeply that when the doctors tell us our outer nature will waste away in a matter of months, in that moment, God enfolds us in love; God fulfills our needs in ways better than we can understand; God feeds us in ways better than we know to desire or pray for.
Michael knew two very important things about how we can help each other to partake of the heavenly food that God offers to us in all things at all times. He revealed the first during an evening about four months ago when I was with him because he feared that death was near. Michael was alternating between chatting and periods of silence. After one long period of silence, he raised up. There was quite literally a glow about him, and he cried out, "I have done it! I have forgiven everyone for everything!" Michael knew that forgiveness is a key part of the work allocated to this life. It frees both the one forgiving and the one forgiven to receive and be nourished by heavenly food. If we miss Michael, we can bring his essence near by adopting a spirit of forgiveness towards ourselves and one another. We don't have to wait until death feels near. Indeed, living in a spirit of forgiveness will keep the fear of death at bay.
Michael knew something else of great import. He knew that the feast Jesus hosted on that mountain continues to this day. We partake of it at this altar, gaining strength from our communion with all those saints who have shared this banquet throughout time. Michael treasured the meal we share here, and he loved to serve at this altar. Michael was more proud of his fifty plus years as an acolyte than anything else in life. Only days before he needed to move out of his apartment, Michael told me he hoped to serve as an acolyte again. We arranged for him to come and serve at a 12:45 service on Sunday. He didn't appear, and I assumed that he just wasn't feeling up to it. At 2:30 PM, Canon Carey called me at home to say that Michael had just arrived. He had newly acquired his scooter, and he didn't realize it wouldn't go 30 mile per hour! But he had kept his pedal to the metal and covered the many blocks it took to get here.
You may think that Trinity Cathedral will be poorer without Michael Crosse, but remember that Trinity Cathedral and the one holy catholic and apostolic Church have a powerful new ally in heaven. Now that Michael is reunited with Dean Perry and Jim Appleby, the forces of evil must be on the run! Feel the wind from their departure as you approach the altar this day to be in communion with Michael and all the saints of all time. And know ever more deeply this truth which Michael wrote on his health directive to be proclaimed this day: "God's love is overpowering!"