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September 13, 2007 – St. Cyprian’s Day
Pat Vercruyssen, Lay Preaching Student
May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of all our hearts, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, our strength and our Redeemer.
Jesus says, "The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." I can think of several different ways to approach the concept of one laying down one's life -- the obvious one of physical death in physical defense of the sheep; of dying in self-sacrifice for the rights of the sheep; in giving up one's own self interests in order to benefit someone else. Death, and loss, and annihilation are concepts that are easy to apply to this Gospel lesson.
But, I wonder, what is the implication of choice and action in this sentence? What about free will? Jesus says, "The good shepherd lays down --" he doesn't say, "The good Shepherd’s life is ripped from him," or, "The good Shepherd is robbed of his life for the sheep." Instead, the good Shepherd makes the choice to lay down his life.
So what does this say about his life? If his life is something that he can voluntarily choose to lay down, is his life intrinsic to what he is at his very core? What is the very essence of his being? Is his life intrinsic to what he is at his very core?
What if "life" is merely one more facet of our existence, and is not our existence itself?
Today we celebrate the feast of St. Cyprian. He followed a well-trodden path of the saints in the early Church; after a comfortable and somewhat dissolute youth, he experienced a powerful conversion, and spent the rest of his life preaching and teaching. He was made a bishop under duress; he apparently attempted to escape the crowd of the faithful who were clamoring for him to be ordained bishop. He tried climbing through the back window of his house to escape, but the crowd caught him and dragged him off to be ordained. A little different from our current ordination process, eh?
During a particularly violent persecution of the early Church, St. Cyprian refused to go into hiding when the current Caesar decreed that high-ranking Church officials should be executed wholesale. St. Cyprian walked voluntarily to the field where he would be killed, and was followed by many of his flock who desired to be martyred with him.
St. Cyprian knew that his core existence did not depend on his life. He did choose to lay down his life. During a previous persecution of the church, St. Cyprian had spent two years in hiding, going from church to church in his diocese, administering his bishopric by letter. He could have escaped this death; he could have chosen not to lay down his life.
St. Cyprian was a good shepherd. He led his flock by example in a time when martyrdom was a grim and sometimes unavoidable reality. His choice, that afternoon in the field, was to lay down his life voluntarily. He could have gone kicking and screaming, protesting the stripping away of what most people think is the most important thing -- life itself.
So what is the most important thing? What is the pearl of great price, what is the treasure hidden in the field, what is the crown that never fades? What is the most important thing?
What is the core of our existence?
Jesus hints at it in today's Gospel -- listen to it again: "I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father."
I believe that the core of our existence is found in our experience, our knowing, of God. "I know my own and my own know me." The closer I can come to being aware of the constant indwelling of the Holy Spirit within me, the closer I come to that ideal. The closer I come to knowing God as I am known; the closer I come to hearing Jesus’ voice, and following wherever it is that he leads me.
If I accept that this Gospel reflects one of the bright rays of truth descending from the everliving Father in Heaven, then I have to accept that what Jesus is saying is that my life is not definitive of who I am in his eyes. Listen-- my life is not definitive of who I am in his eyes. If I follow in his steps, I can lay my life down, and be none the less for the loss of my life. My life is not essential to my core existence.
There was a point at which my life, as such, did not exist. There is some point in the future where my life will cease to exist. In between those two points are all of the experiences, ideas, relationships, and events which have shaped who I have become. Are you with me so far?
Jesus said, "I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father." How much more intimate can knowledge get, than that between the Father and the Son? Earlier in John's Gospel, Jesus had said that it was not he who did the works, but the Father in him. In some mystical fashion, there is literally no distinction between Jesus and the Father.
If Jesus knows his own, and his own, that is, you and I, know him, then all of the experiences, ideas, relationships, and events that have occurred from my birth up to the present moment are in no way separate from the experience and the existence of God. And, everything that will happen between now and my death is not separate from the experience and the existence of God. The bookends of birth and death appear to us to be absolutes; but if Jesus says that he can lay down his life, that means that there is something more.
Here’s the answer that I have today; but remember, the story of our lives isn’t over yet—there may be some new revelation of God’s grace that is shown to one of us to share with each other sometime in the near future.
So, here’s today’s answer:
This transitory life is not essential to my core existence; everything that I am, and everything that I hope to be, is already held bright and pure and safe in God's loving embrace. Whether I lay down my life or not.
Bright, and pure, and safe, in God's loving embrace. Amen.
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